You were taught to follow rules. Because of this you did great in life. You look great on paper. Your wise parents told you the right things to get you to the right college, the sought after job and the white picket fence. You did everything they said but like a shiny shell that’s empty inside, you lack substance.
It is completely ok to say no.
Remember when you got disciplined because you talked back? That really only works when you’re a kid. Part of growing up is learning to say no. If you don’t start making your own decisions, you’ll find yourself living someone else’s life. You’re going to have to get past disappointing people. No one ever lived a great life trying to make everyone else happy.
Challenge your beliefs.
There’s nothing wrong with doing what’s right or what you’re taught is right but remember to question what’s right to you. It’s not always black and white. Some decisions don’t always win. Hard decisions are hard because no one can tell you what’s right for you. Sometimes you’ll lose regardless of which choice you make but you still need to make that decision and own it. You’ll find strength in your beliefs if you challenge them. Know why you believe.
Stop listening to everyone.
Your self worth should not be derived from what others think. There will be tons of people who will tell you what they think. You have endless amounts of information nowadays to forums, reviews, social media etc. Everyone has an opinion. Clear the noise and ask yourself first what you want. If no one told you to do it or if no one else was doing it, would you still choose to do it? There is a difference between what is considered right in society and what you want/what is right for you.
Your happiness lies in living an authentic life.
Whoever it was that you wanted to please, they will eventually be gone one day. When that day comes, you’ll have to live with the decisions you chose. Make sure they’re the ones you want.
Please remember that obedience is the key to conformity. Free thought breaks those reins.
